" ... You may not always understand every declaration of a living prophet. But when you know a prophet is a prophet, you can approach the Lord in humility and faith and ask for your own witness about whatever his prophet has proclaimed."
-President Russell M. Nelson
Below is what I wrote on the road after General Conference.
There is light and there is darkness. This fact is true, not only of the physical world, but also of a very real spiritual one. This I cannot deny. And it is on this premise that I begin this entry. It's also here where I'd ask any reading this if they believe in spiritual light. If you believe in the spirit than I'd add that it is by no means a stretch to elicit God and subsequently attach to him in the literal sense the accolade of being the pinnacle of spiritual enlightenment. If, however, you don't hold to spiritual things, than you may not gain anything from what follows.
Here we go. For me, it is in the waters where this spiritual light shines that I strive to keep my soul anchored. Due to the tumultuous nature of life and the immense complexities that surround this world, often times I have to re-evaluate where I stand, what I believe, and who it is that I even am. I emphasize that that is not because the truth is subject to change, but because, I, by virtue of being an imperfect mortal am prone to list upon ever changing tides.
I know that there are those who believe that the leaders of the LDS church are, in some way, actively attempting to indoctrinate each successive generation of followers, possibly through the power of suggestion, exploiting neurological phenomena and/or manipulating emotional weaknesses that web through our beings as a maze through a field of corn. As simply put as possible, there are those who believe that they are brainwashing us.
Sometimes it is posited that they are doing this deliberately, under full conscious awareness that the doctrines and principles set forth by the LDS church are indeed false. Other times it is said that they, even those on the highest rungs of leadership, even the Prophet himself are under the spell and delusional bindings of the adversary, even Satan.
Before I continue, I want you to understand that I know very well that often times going to church can be boring, even tedious. And I know that often times we can, in our search for light, be put down, criticized and even belittled inside the walls of the church. I, often times have found myself going to church only to take the sacrament, and then immediately leaving afterwards. I have done this because, at times I haven't particularly liked a lot of the auxiliaries, which I've often thought can morph into an exclusive VIP only club, appearing to shun those who look and act a little differently. I will add that sadly this might be inevitable.
Though sadly it is true, the fact that it is inevitable nearly testifies of a greater truth, one that can be seen if we attempt to expand our view. I do not, in any way mean to use this as a primary argument for the truthfulness of the Gospel, for doing such would give rise to too much criticism and counter argument, of which I have thoroughly explored but see no need to outline here.
Rather though, for the purpose of understanding, I'd present the notion that should there, in an example that presents a true religion, set forth by God that isn't per se Mormonism, there still inevitably would be those who are put off by their experience with it. As well, along with those who cite convincing arguments to defame the organization. What does that say about the nature of man when confronted by truth?
I know that there will be some who cannot disassociate the Mormon church or LDS faith from this example, and I, of course believe that it is the LDS faith which is the true church. But regardless, I only share it to illustrate the irrefutable point that things of God will always have powerful and convincing opposition. Can you argue otherwise? What needs to be resolved is how to differentiate between what the will of God is and what the will of man is. And possibly why anyone would care to look deeply into what God's will even is.
I don't intend at this time to touch upon other controversial points concerning the church, points of which I fully acknowledge, such as claims of false teachings, cover-ups, or secret histories that some have lauded criticizing the church. Those issues all require some sort of thought out and understood synthesis of mental cohesion of which I advocate thorough personal investigations done in the spirit of diligent and honest truth seeking by each individual who is apart of the church.
These things should be looked into with a critical eye, but also more importantly a prayerful heart. These points, in every individual soul, require a personal and unique approach to allow a being to say with confidence one way or the other whether the teachings of the church are true. It must be that way otherwise no one could justify believing or denying.
Of course the leaders of the church teach from the pulpit. Of course they testify of the principles and doctrines of the Gospel of Christ as they understand it. Of course they say things that aren't perfect. Of course they are men and women with biases, preconceived notions, and engrained ideas that may not exactly be what God would have them be. And of course they want us to believe them just how you would desire your friends and family to believe you if you felt that you had something important to share. This is true of the leaders and advocates of any religion and even any organization whatsoever.
Have you ever noticed how when you experience something that you thought was so great that you wanted to share it with others that sometimes, you, in your excitement and or possible fallible remembrance of the instance, begin to share what you know to be true, only to, either purposefully or not, exaggerate certain points, leave out other points that you don't consider worth pointing out, or simply tell your story in such a way that paints the picture as aligning perfectly with your world view. Though you had a true and real experience that you wished to share, merely in the process of sharing it through the filter of human minds, dilutes and sometimes detracts from the actual true experience. Any looking beyond the story you painted into the actual events that took place by way of examining exterior evidences would utterly find many holes in your original story, thereby rendering your original story suspect. This is called bias, and humans, divinely inspired or not are nearly permanently bound by its vice. Any story is biased, works of fiction get a free pass. It is only when something is presented as true that these faults are shouted from the rooftops! And by whom? The biased.
I set forth here and now a vivid point. It is only if there is no God, of which we have already acknowledged that there is, that they, these leaders can be considered to be brainwashing us. There being no God is the only way for them to get away with, almost unfailingly, imploring us after they testify and after they counsel us, to address an entity outside of themselves that has the capability, as the pinnacle of enlightenment, to inspire and give knowledge to those who ask.
In short, these LDS General Authorities, being human and subject to billions of critical eyes, teach us, testify to us, desire for us to believe them, and then ask us, nay, implore us to not take their word for it! What do they do instead? They tell us to ask God in fervent prayer what is true. And it is what I did as a missionary every time I taught someone about the restoration. Pray and ask God.
Though endlessly flawed as I often feel I am, I wrestle in prayer, constantly seeking out answers to the most troubling issues that face my own soul along with those of the church and as well, the world. I cannot justify in the least disrespecting those I consider to be Prophets, Seers, and Revelators, imperfect and flawed as they are, not unlike myself.
They, being bombarded by endless criticism, repeatedly plead with us to ask God. They don't tell us to direct all inquiries to Santa, or to a psychic, or to their own self and no one else, or to the newest archeological discovery, but God, whom they, our General Authority, in their frail mortality have absolutely no power whatsoever to manipulate for a devious purpose.
You must forgive me for holding in high regard even the biased thoughts of people who ask me to address in person the Master and Commander of the Universe while thinking little of those who ask me to believe their own personal reasons of why they think those people are either outrightly wrong or simply of the devil.
You might argue that personal reasons aren't biased but reflect objective evidence. If you have read this far we have already admitted to believing in God, of who's power and magnificence we cannot at this point belittle. Consequently when compared to a good, but altogether practically blind scientific method that gropes in the dark for its own empirical truths the reality which surrounds the things of an Eternal God will obviously appear many times to run counter to the precepts set forth by man, as logical as we attempt to be. Many would inevitably see with their eyes and their wholly sin justifying souls, emphasizing, pointing out, and raising up above the mantle of God's jurisdiction points of secular interest. Evidences that appear to damn under any of the most stoutly critical eye would inevitably exist. This is not an attempt to belittle science and evidence, it is merely an attempt to point out a fact that is unavoidable should there be a God. It is only through the Spirit of this God that we can attain more sanctified understanding in spite of inevitably existing damning evidence.
I repeat, I point this out not to attempt to prove the truthfulness of the church but to illustrate a fact that even if there is a God who advocates a true religion and it isn't Mormonism, there would still be evidence to, for lack of better words, "prove" that it isn't true. All of which in this example would ultimately be due to the failings of limited science and philosophy to grasp the true implications of eternal principles being played out in the lives of short lived and short sighted mortals. Offer me something better. And explain why it's better. This might be difficult to do unless your eye is single to the Glory of God and are confident that He can manifest, through the spirit the truthfulness of all things to those who ask.
There are a million reasons why the church isn't true. I simply wonder if this isn't the case because there are a million biases in the human psyche.
As the General Authorities, along with scripture both old and new direct, I ask you to ask God in fervent prayer. If God tells you to disregard Pre. Monson, and that the Book of Mormon is of the Devil than I cannot argue with you. All I can tell you is that, I, in my own poor lot, have received a witness that Pre. Monson is the Prophet, not only of the Church, but of the whole world, and that The Book of Mormon is in fact another testament of Jesus, the Christ. I will fight for that. We will, one of these days eventually find out who of us has been inspired by God and who, the Devil--or depressingly, if there should be none of these whatsoever.
I would, to end this, define the word fervent. It means glowing hot. What do you think the glowing-hot-in-the- spirit to room-temperature-in-the-spirit ratio is in those who profess to seek the truth. How can anyone attempt to prove any point pertaining to actual divinity, not theology, not philosophy, but the real divine spirit of God, unless he or she is at least struggling, wrestling, or striving to be fervent, to be hot, unless altogether there is an absolute denial of the existence of God being attempted. And finally, I'd ask, how many things does a dwindling spirit justify before he is left alone absolutely desolate in the bitterly cold night of winter.
Goodnight.