I’ve got a couple hours so I needed to clarify something. I’ve read over my last Writs and Rants post a dozen times and I almost wish that I hadn’t posted it. I was uncertain about posting it when I did. The reason is because I really don’t know how people will take it and I think it might give the impression that I am conflicted as to what I believe. To be absolutely certain, I am not conflicted in my faith. The problem arises when I try to bridge the gap between what it is that we, as people believe and what it is that we can know through experiment. We can believe all sorts of things that aren’t true. My struggle is in attempting to explain how I can justify my belief in Christ(which is not in question) and accept this belief over that of other belief systems when I strongly advocate the logical, empirical methods of science. From the eyes of science I see all too well that religion in any manner looks really hokey and superstitious. And it is this that I do not know how to reconcile. But once again to be sure, I have a profound testimony of God. I simply cannot deny it and I shrink to think that I might have caused people to believe that my testimony was wavering. It is not. I love God and have faith in His son's Infinite Atonement. I love my life as well. I am grateful for every second I have and for every opportunity I have to talk about the gospel with open-minded people.
That said, and changing gears a little, this trip I am taking is fun but I am also finding that it is very difficult to write on the fly. Often times I don’t even have time to review what I’ve written. And this is hard for me. I think it’s good for me but it is hard. But that’s why I made myself do this, why I wanted to keep a daily record of my trip so I could learn to write faster and actually attempt to have people be interested in what I’m writing. This is hard. It’s like coming to the surface where things are a little brighter when I’m used to the darkness of the abyss.
All I’ve been wanting to do for the last couple days is hike into the mountains so I can get a handle on where it is that I actually am. Obviously I am in a specific location on Earth but that’s not what I mean. I need to figure out where I am, take a few breaths and just let the reality of my place sink into my heart. All of this writing on the fly is taking its toll on me. I guess people are enjoying what I’m writing, which is nice to know but it’s like having a conversation with a ton of people all at once and I really only like to talk to a single person at a time away from everyone else.
I am grateful for it though. It is a good experience and I am growing. Well, I have to go now. Space is waiting. Take care.