Day 42: The Church

 

Day 42: The Church 

Dear everyone, I have been struggling with what it is that I should write for today. Due to unique and unforeseen circumstances I choose to address only General Conference. I was able to catch most of it. That said, I have been disheartened somewhat by the backlash, inevitable as it is, that I have seen after it was over. 

It makes me want to retreat to the mountains so I can be alone.

I have written quite a lot about it all, actually. It is a part of the reason I haven't posted anything yet. The mental energy spent writing about Conference and things pertaining to it allowed little to be written otherwise, though, as I said, unique circumstances obliged me to focus solely on it altogether. I have been revising, and rewriting it, but still am not satisfied with what I'd like it to say. It will remain un-posted for the time being.

For the moment, I will only say, to praise simplicity and for the sake of those worried, that the Church is true. I say that only in the spirit of great humility and deep contemplation, though. Qualities of which I question in any detractors. 

You guys should stop worrying about me by the way. If you don't know by now that melancholy surges through my bones, than I think you odd. Because surely, it's apparent by now. And to be even more sure, I have lived and evolved in this manner long before any of you have been aware of it to the extent that you surely are aware of it now. And I am still here--with the intention of going nowhere--with the intention of going everywhere.

Goodnight.



 

Update 2

I apologize for not posting last night. I will post day 42 and day 43 tonight. I am well. In a desert in New Mexico hiking to the Decalogue Stone, about 15 miles west of Los Lunas. 

Day 41: Conference and Poetry

 

Day 41:

I spent today driving and bumming wifi from an IHOP parking lot so I could watch General Conference. I did find a friend near Oklahoma City willing to take me in for a couple hours for the second session, though. Much thanks. I have been consistently blown away at the hospitality of people that I barely know. It is really great.

I then started toward Amarillo, Texas. I did so with a heavy heart. Why? I'm not going to tell you. It's my prerogative as the arbiter of this project to tell you I'm heavy but not let on as to why. Suffice it to say I have been obliged to revisit a lot of my earlier writings. I've written a lot of poems, more than I remember writing. In lack of a detailed entry today, I'll share one of my favorites with you at the end of this post.

When I started writing this post I started giving my thoughts on Conference, but it turned into a Sacrament talk. I want to share it but I need to review it with fresh eyes before I post it, and maybe have someone else look at it as well.

I'm too tired to elaborate upon my day any more. Goodnight.

 

 

The Melancholic Meteorite 

In an instant my soul would just fly 

Toward that sparkling ocean there, 

But the tears of which I’ve yet to cry 

Weigh me down and keep me here. 

There be those of whom I love 

But there’s no verse to reconcile, 

And it seems that rhyme is not enough 

For all the pain to be worthwhile.

But how could I just be so crass? 

I’ve studied it as I’ve knelt 

Found I, that an atomic mass  

Can’t quantify the things I felt! 

Which means of course only one thing, 

It’s not, I’m alive and things are dead, 

But rather, I along with my dreams 

Are real more than just in my head. 

In honesty the truth is this, 

I feel melancholic as a rock 

That sits in dirt with just one wish, 

That it’d be bold enough to talk 

And share with others what it’s seen 

Throughout the ages, all the same 

In the dirt as that ocean gleans 

O’er its head and from whence it came. 

Caterpillar punk. 

Caterpillar punk. 

Day 39: Vicksburg/Day 40:Diamond Mine/Myrtles Plantation Update

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There is too much on my mind at this time to give into the temptation to not write. I've got a lot to write about. This might be a long post.

Let's start with day 39: Vicksburg

"See what a lot of land these fellows hold, of which Vicksburg is the key! The war can never be brought to a close until that key is in our pocket...We can take all the northern ports of the Confederacy, and they can defy us from Vicksburg."

Abraham Lincoln said those words about the city on the southern edge of the Mississippi during the Civil War. At the Vicksburg National Military Park I sat in on a twenty minute video explaining the history of the place. I was blown away at the immense significance it served during the war, but more so because I had no prior knowledge of it before my visit there.

Very briefly, after several direct assaults on the city-fortress that was Vicksburg, General Grant and his army suffered major casualties. Thereupon he engaged in a drawn out besiegement, blocking supplies, where he waited for Pemberton, the Confederate General defending the city, to surrender. The whole siege lasted from May 18, to July 4th. The year was 1863. Pemberton threw up a white flag on the fourth, ordered his soldiers to throw down their guns, and marched out of the city. This occurred the day after General Lee's defeat at Gettysburg. These two consecutive blows to the South was the pivotal turning point that gave the Union the advantage and ultimate victory over the Confederacy.  

Out of it all I stand in awe at the sacrifices and true convictions held by both parties. It really was like a war amongst family. The Park itself is remarkable, unlike any other I have visited.

Day 40: Diamond Mine

I spent about four hours today digging and sifting through rocks and dirt hoping for the sparkle of a diamond to catch my eye! 

The Crater of Diamonds State Park in Arkansas is the only, open to the public Diamond Mine that allows its visitors to keep their finds. 

Every year people find all sort of precious stones at this place, the most significant finds are memorialized by giant shovels that get placed in the area the gems were found. I varied my search pattern over the few hours I was there but I was only lucky enough to come away with several small pieces of quartz crystal, which is cool, but at the same time pretty common. 

At the end of the day I asked the mineral inspector how often he sees visitors who find diamonds. Without even thinking he said "47 times." I don't recall exactly how long he said that he had been working there but it was less than a year.

It was a thoroughly enjoyable experience even though I didn't strike at rich. Moving on.

Myrtles Plantation Update

You remember how I said that I was investigating an oddity in a photo in my last post? Well, some things have come to light, and I am almost willing to admit that the most significant event of my trip has occurred. 

Last night, I had been staring at this odd photo I took in the Myrtles Plantation home for what seemed like hours before I went to bed. I really can't say what was captured in the photo, but it gave me the impression that it was a white shawl of some kind with little tassels. 

This impression caused me to recall an odd person that I saw in the main building of the Plantation while I was on the tour. Below I will give a detailed account of my experience in chronological order. 

This is not intended to be written for entertainment. I know that I already gave an account of the Plantation but I feel like I need to write a more thorough account of it in light of recent events. What follows is a direct account of my experience. 

I got to the Plantation Wednesday afternoon. I'm not exactly sure what time I took the tour but I think it was around 3pm. I, along with two others from Oregon were the only people on the tour. So it was me, two others, and the tour guide. 

The tour guide was a very nice and knowledgable lady. She gathered us together and unlocked the door to the main building and let us in. She began telling us about the mirror, the staircase and the painting in the front room. She informed us that this was the only room that photographs were allowed. I started taking a lot of photos with my phone. 

Eventually she opened up another room just at the foot of the staircase. She went in and so did the others but I stayed back for a moment and continued to take pictures of the previous room. While I was the only one still in the first room, I noticed an old lady, I'd say, in her sixties, wearing a white dress with a little white hat of some sort, standing near to the door that we originally came through to enter the building. She appeared to be trying to exit through the door but couldn't seem to get it open, as if she were locked inside. In her attempt to open the locked door she was making quite a racket. It was an audible noise heard by all four of us, the two Oregonians, myself, and the tour guide.

Strangely, I honestly thought that this must have been another tour guide or someone else that worked on the property so I didn't say anything. I looked away from her and entered the second room where I noticed that my tour guide had stopped talking. She had this odd look on her face and excused herself from the room for a moment. I knew it was because she was hearing the racket of the locked door trying to be opened. She passed me to go into the first room while I passed her on my way into the second room where the other two people were. She looked out toward where we had all just been, shrugged her shoulders, came back in and continued our tour without a word about it. I assumed that she saw the other tour guide. 

After a few more moments she ushered us into the next room and eventually we finished the tour. She thanked us and wished us a good day. I thanked her in return and went to the visitor center where I purchased the pecan turtle truffle.

I then went to my car and left toward Vicksburg. Later that night, I, being somewhat astonished at how close I was to finishing my tour of the states decided that I could afford a hotel. I slept in a bed Wednesday night. Then the next day, a Thursday, which was day 39 I toured Vicksburg. Then I made my way toward the Diamond Park. I stopped at a rest stop to sleep. I started to do a more thorough review off photos of The plantation. This is where I really realized how odd this photo was that I have previously mentioned. And like I said it caused me to reflect on this white dressed woman. The next day I searched for diamonds, and upon finishing that,

I was overwhelmed the the desire to get to the bottom of this photo and the woman I saw. 

I called The Myrtles Plantation. A girl answered and I began to inquire as to whether she really believed that the house was haunted. At this moment I hadn't let on to the fact that I had already toured the building. I did this to gauge the sincerity of her testimony of the hauntings. She was convincing. I believe that she is genuinely convinced of it. I then let on that I had toured the place two days prior and I was concerned about this lady that I had seen. I asked if there was an employee that fit her description. She said, "we absolutely do not have anyone walking around this area in a white dress." I asked if other people, visitors were allowed free access to the inside of the main building. She assured me that the building remained locked at all times. It was only when tours went through that they opened the doors, and not only that, but that after the groups were inside the building, they lock the doors behind us. It really was, supposedly, only the four of us inside the building the whole tour.

She then explained to me that the woman that I had described was Mary Catherine Cobb Stirling, the most reported ghost on the property.

She took my name and number, said that she would talk to her managers and review the security footage from that day. I plan on hearing back from her on the morrow. And I will offer an update as soon as anything new arises. 

At this point I am faced with a very real conundrum. This was not a whisp, an orb, a flash of light, something in the corner of my eye or a dark shadowy figure, this was a person, clear as day, in the middle of the day, that I saw in front of me for several moments interacting with the real world around me, the locked door. 

So, I have to decide whether or not this thing was a real, honest to goodness ghost, or be forced to conclude that the people running this plantation are sneakily sending old ladies running through the house to possibly frighten or heighten the experience for those wanting a show. Is it a real ghost, or am I being Scooby Doo'd?

The scientist in me out rightly assumes that it had to have been a real corporeal person. It was just too, for lack of better ways to put it, un-ghost like. If I didn't know any better I would have thought that it was my grandma just walking by. 

But I already have a very vivid background with ghosts, one that I can't deny. This one though, if it really is, is the strangest one by far, by virtue of being the most normal looking ghost I have ever seen! I thought it was another tour guide for crying out loud! 

I really am conflicted. I honestly believe that there is no purposeful deception going on at this Plantation. I think the images I saw must really have been the image of Mary Stirling the ghost. It is hard to reconcile. I am eagerly awaiting the call tomorrow to see what they have to say, along with and slightly on a different note, General Conference. Adieu.


Day 38: Myrtles Plantation

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Day 38: Myrtles Plantation

I made it to the Plantation around 3pm. I took the ten dollar tour of the place and purchased a home made Carmel Pecan Turtle. And I tell you, the wonders of this world along with the mysteries of the next pale when compared to the sensation one gets when indulging in a properly made pecan dessert. I must admit that I am biased, as I grew up with a pecan orchard in my back yard, but surely the pecan is objectively the greatest drupe of its genus!

The tour though, was more interesting than I had expected. But due to my failing spirit concerning the depth of these write-ups I am obliged to keep this post very brief. 

Suffice it to say the area is a famous antebellum plantation located in Francisville, Louisiana. Many people met with their untimely fates on its ground. It is reported that 12 ghosts haunt the location, ten of which were people who were murdered. The most prominent was a man named William Winter who died from a shot gun blast to the chest. He was shot on his porch, staggered into the house, trying to make it to his wife who was on the second floor. He died in her arms on the 17th step. It's reported by many that he is still seen on the stairs, haunting it.

As I do at all of my haunted sites I snap absurd amounts of pictures every moment. So far I have failed to capture anything other than a few colored orbs, which aren't much. I captured a purple orb in the Bell Witch Cave but that is about the extent of it. I am, however investigating an oddity captured in one of my Myrtle Plantation photos, but it's nothing too noteworthy as of the moment. 

I'll now address why I should have a failing spirit. 

I was persevering nobly without a computer, but it seems the longer I am on the road the more difficult it is becoming to find the enthusiasm to stay in one spot long enough to do a thorough write up on an IPhone with a cracked screen. When I stop, I want to rest, not particularly write. On top of that, I've been feeling under the weather. My head hurts and I've been feeling nauseous on and off again. Not to mention my air conditioning, which I got fixed before I left, appears to be failing again. 

Laying on the grass at a rest stop in Louisiana, mid day at this moment, I am well. But the long hours on the road offer me too much time to get lost in my head. Or in other words I get depressed. 

I cannot look upon depression as purely evil though. My mind has been called up to too many wondrous things of which I would have  never had an opportunity to glean had I been made without a propensity to wade as I have through the dark.

That said, I can't advocate that it is a particularly healthy thing either. Obviously it comes with its burden. Its heaviness crushes spirits and often times leaves a wake of heartache and suffering in its path. I won't be cited spouting any cures for the problem. That I suppose must be determined by the individual in their specific condition. I would, pertaining to a "cure" for it, make a distinction however, between feeling happy and being at peace. When it seems as though within a blink the cheery disposition turns bleak, one begins to think of the difference.

At times in my life I have found myself so thoroughly miserable as to find myself wishing that the mountains themselves would descend upon me and utterly bury me in their earthy darkness. It has seemed preferable to the mental anguish that any who has experienced it to such a degree would admit that it is truly an endless torment upon a living soul. 

I would admit right here and now in this entry that the thought of dying has, at times, pervaded my whole self. In contrast, I'd also share at this time that I have seen through eyes of death, some of the most exquisite things a mortal could be blessed enough to see.

I've spent many hours contemplating in great depth those beautiful things and what they have signified. I get all sorts of lost in the complexity of the nature of life and love, but the simplest thing I can take from it to share with others is that if you are blessed enough to call yourself a human being you are beautiful beyond words.

I will end there without the least attempt to circle this post back around, creatively tying it to why I am interested in the ghosts of Myrtles Plantation. My mind, at this time is simply too tired. 

I am also behind one day again, as I visited Vicksburg today. I will try to get back on track tomorrow as soon as I can. Maybe I will post Vicksburg mid day. And then tomorrow, that night. If that made sense, goodnight. If it didn't, still, goodnight. 









 

Day 38: Rocketdyne

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Today has been hard. Its difficulty has been magnified by the frustration I feel toward what I've thought is an inability to express what I really wish I could. I'd have to dedicate much more energy than I have at this time to come close to telling you what I'd like to.

That said, I will take a breath and begin writing as best as I can.

The first thing I did at about 7 in the morning was groan, as I didn't get much sleep in the leaned back front seat of my car with a damp blanket about me. I usually slink back into the slightly more comfortable back seat but that's only when I feel particular safe. There is something disconcerting about not being imminently prepared to turn your vehicle on and drive away. My blanket has been absorbing, what I feel is too much condensation building up nightly on the inside of my car. 

Blood shot and grimy, I ate breakfast, which consisted of a sausage egg Mcgriddle and a large orange juice. At this point I couldn't tell you where I was. I was simply somewhere in the south-east, in the U.S. That is. Maybe I was as far west as Mobile. I honestly couldn't tell you. I did, however, struggled with deciding what I should do in Louisiana. I knew Vicksburg was on my docket for Mississippi, but I needed to drive west before I headed upward. There were too many tempting options. Ultimately though, it came down to two: The Gates of Guinnee in New Orleans and The Myrtles Plantation less than an hour North of Baton Rouge. 

I justified that, the risk of permanently getting lost in the Underworld wasn't quite worth the half an hour detour southbound. And besides, the Plantation has always been in the back of my mind to visit. I started toward it.

After a little while on 10, just before the New Orleans turn off, I was surprised to find myself in NASA territory! Exiting the Interstate excitedly, I drove cautiously down a road that beckoned me onward with signs letting me know that I was getting closer to "space"! But then the signs turned a little more worrisome making me question whether or not I was even authorized to be there. They started to say things like, "this area under 24/7 surveillance," "entering security zone," "no weapons allowed," I looked over at my twelve inch steel blade on my passenger seat wide eyed, and "vehicles subject to search"! And there it was, the entrance into NASA's John C. Stennis Space Center funneling all of the vehicles on this road I was on through a very secure road block, decked out with cameras galore and security officers. I was a little terrified! But fortunately there was a small parking area just before the entrance so inquisitive souls such as myself who didn't particularly have a federal clearance pass could turn around last minute. 

I made my way to the other side of the Interstate where the actual Space stuff for the public was. There were some interesting things, but all in all I was slightly disappointed. The coolest thing there was a small moon rock encased in a glass pyramid. The rest of it was tailored to school children, taking your picture behind a space suit cut out, and a, fly a paper airplane through space hoops type of stuff. Even the bus tour was less than exhilarating. I had more of a thrill thinking that I was going to have federal agents searching my vehicle moments before! I do have to give credit to the massive Rocketdyne F-1 Engine on display outside of the building. It was one of the engines that helped launch astronauts to the moon during the Apollo Program. That was really cool to see first hand and it started to make a few connections in my head. Seeing things in person has a way of doing that.

Anyway, from there, I made my way to The Myrtles Plantation.

To be continued...

 

Day 37: White Sand Beaches

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Day 37: 

Other than discovering that "Travel Log" is actually supposed to be "Travelogue," and then rediscovering that a Log is still acceptable after a search for "Captains Log," from Star Trek, and then finding myself utterly confused about what the difference is supposed to be and why, or even if there is a distinction, and finally settling on the personal choice to give no cares to it whatsoever, today has held few notable events. 

There has been, however, and switching gears slightly, one other thing that has stood out in my mind, the white sand beaches of Panama City. I took my shoes off and strolled down the beach for awhile finding my self a seashell. I took another short walk to the end of the nearby pier and I leaned over the railing. Gazing into the Gulf I was reminded of the vastness of the water. 

I've known this, but, being in a different state nearly every day arouses the mind to a realization, for me, a remembrance. There are beautiful things all around us, but a stagnant mind ceases to see them. Seeing some new wonder inspires the mind and refreshes the soul. But that isn't to say that there is no intrinsic beauty around the things that you have become used to. You might see a forest or a mountain or an ocean, while another, say a visitor to your place, might be overcome with magnificence by those sky defining sierras, the number of those ever sure and silent trees, or the vastness of the sparkling water.

You can take this principle and apply it to things of a more spiritual nature. Firstly, to deny the inner world of the spirit, to me, is nearly the same as denying the human experience altogether. What is a sensation if it isn't in some regard a way of illustrating beauty and love, or perhaps anger and sorrow to a conscious soul. Stirring these feelings by continuing to learn, by continuing to seek out new vistas, I'd say, opens the avenues of understanding and upon which, I'd also say arouses the potential for visions and dreams to light upon ones mind. 

But that is another story altogether, one of which I won't tread too far into here.

Whenever someone speaks of something that is perhaps a taboo or a controversial topic, such as is religion and spirituality, that person opens himself up to an onslaught of critique, and oftentimes criticism by those willing to systematically deconstruct the entirety of what has been said. I don't deny that there very well could be some fallacy in anything that I have ever written. This is only a product of an imperfect person trying to share his imperfect thoughts. 

That is, by no means though, an attempt to justify a less than honest paradigm. I simply am trying to understand, but am, simultaneously vividly aware of my deficiencies in doing so.

As much as I respect science and laud its method, its biggest flaw is that, if there is a God, it would unavoidably, in its aspiring, yet utterly infant capacity to probe the divine deny the spiritual means of gaining knowledge, and in some cases be seen as denying the existence of God completely. This would be solely, for a lack of a better way to put it, because of its inability to make a telescope large enough to begin to see with an empirical eye the hand of God.

I'm too tired to continue writing responsibly. Goodnight.





Day 36: Apocalypse Part 2

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Day 36: Apocalypse Part 2 Again 

I made it to the Georgia Guidestones a little before 10am. The plot of ground where the structure stands is smack dab in the middle of grazing pastures. There were horses casually roaming the fields on ever side. This section was fenced off. 

The structure has been dubbed the American Stonehenge. It stands nearly 20 feet tall, is astronomically aligned, stands just off to the side of a mysterious time capsule buried six feet below a large slab of granite, which is to be opened after an apocalyptic event on a date that is unspecified, and has a sort of "Ten Commandments" written upon each side of the four slabs of erected granite. The commandments are written in English, Swahili, Hindi, Spanish, Hebrew, Arabic, Chinese and Russian. In this manner it can be likened unto the Rosetta Stone. 

On the top cap stone, upon its four sides there is a separate message written in Babylonian Cuneiform, Egyptian hieroglyphics, Sanskrit and Classical Greek. I wasn't able to determine definitively what those words said but I'm assuming, based on the information given on the slab which is placed in the ground toward the west of the structure that it says "let these be guidestones to an age of reason."

The only information I could gather about what those inscriptions said, I've displayed in the picture at the top of this post. The significance to it, although nothing is specifically said as to whether there is anything inscribed on the top of the capstone (facing upward on the top of the structure) I bet those words at the center of the square at my feet are engraved into to top of the slab. I almost was tempted to scale the structure to find out but the whole place is under 24/7 surveillance and I didn't particularly want any more reason than I already do to believe that I am being followed, especially by the illuminati! A quick google search to see if anyone else had information on the top of the structure proved unfruitful, as well as a Google Earth tour of the area. Details remained too blurry but I bet you those words are there!

Anyway, who's really responsible for this structure? No one is quite sure. What is known is that it was built in 1980. As described by the slab over the time capsule, a man going under the "pseudonyn" [sic] of R.C. Christian hired the Everton Granite Finishing Company to build it. It is engraved on the slab that is apart of the original structure that those responsible for it are "a small group of Americans who seek the age of reason."Funnily enough there appear to be many grammatical errors in the wording as you are already aware that the word "pseudonyn" was misspelled. I profess no talent in the realm of grammar, but if I were to erect a structure emblazoned with the words that I held as sacred or profoundly important, I'd be sure to get it right. 

Here are the words of the Guidestones:

  1. Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature.
  2. Guide reproduction wisely — improving fitness and diversity.
  3. Unite humanity with a living new language.
  4. Rule passion — faith — tradition — and all things with tempered reason.
  5. Protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts.
  6. Let all nations rule internally resolving external disputes in a world court.
  7. Avoid petty laws and useless officials.
  8. Balance personal rights with social duties.
  9. Prize truth — beauty — love — seeking harmony with the infinite.
  10. Be not a cancer on the earth — Leave room for nature — Leave room for nature.

I'd like to take some space to share an experience I had there. Shortly after I had arrived, a middle aged man along with his teenage son pulled up. The man immediately began speaking with me. I don't have much time to explain my conversation in depth with this person but suffice it to say, he seemed to be a very intelligent person who acknowledged the reality of the conspiracies surrounding the stones but did not appear to be an avid advocator of them. In short, he had the appearance of an average citizen who had an above than average knowledge of practically everything. He was just very intelligent. He, or at least he professed to speak 17 different languages, and upon speaking somewhat to me in Cherokee I talked with him about my visit to the Cahokia mounds. He knew about the mounds in detail and assuredly confirmed that they are proof that the influence of the mesoamerican cultures migrated much farther north than is currently acknowledged. He was taken aback when I told him of the artifact that I had seen in the museum there, the one that I related to the Feather Serpent, or Quetzalcoatl and he perked up quickly and made the exact same connection before I had mention anything further!

He had also recently been Mammoth Caves of where I told him I had dipped down into Tennessee to visit the Bell Witch caves, from where I brought up Cherokee ghosts and demons. From there he asked with a smirk on his face, if Mormons believed in demons.

He had observed my Utah license plate and my CTR ring. He had a fair understanding of Mormonism and was particularly interested in the Golden Angel Moroni that topped our Temples. This evolved into a more thorough conversation about my faith. Of which he connected the Hill Cumorah with Indian mounds. I talked with him about my recent visits to some of the early Church History sites. He was even aware of the Han's Mill massacre and a lot of the injustices that went on concerning the early faith. He, by the way, was a non-denominational Christian. I conveniently failed to mention that Joseph Smith was at a time, a Mason, one of the groups he mentioned in association with the Guidestones, among others, specifically the Illuminati and their New World Order.  

I gave him a pass along card and we went our separate ways. It was a thoroughly enjoyable conversation. 

I am greatly constrained by time and convenience, otherwise I would be able to write more and revise a little more these posts. But I need to be on my way. 

As it is no longer the night, I bid you, good day. 

  

Day 36: Apocalypse Part 1

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Day 36: Apocalypse

How could I have known that this would have happened. I didn't mean to be away from home when it hit. But it may have saved me, for the time being anyway. I woke up this morning, for all I could tell, still me. I kicked open the back seat door on my Mazda 6 and looked out cautiously, stretching my legs. The air smelled different. There were a few cars sitting still around me in the lot. Finally, some movement. A person walked by in the distance. At first glance he appeared to be alright. Other than the familiar odd traipse of the weary traveler there was no sign that anything terrible had happened, that is until I pulled out my phone and realized that that man was also looking down at his, barely watching where he was going. Nothing too odd I thought. Probably just checking the Facebook.

Unconsciously I checked mine, and there it was, the Super Blood Moon. It was posted everywhere, on every wall, on every site, on every blog! Then suddenly it hit me. This was the sign of the Apocalypse. I realized that I wasn't exposed to the moon's rays thanks to the stubborn Georgian skies. It's been nothing short of dismal around these parts for the last five days. I assumed that most of the east stretching possibly as far north as New York all the way down to Florida were probably spared as well thanks to the mercies of Mother Nature, but yet, I'm forced to think as well, isn't it nature that unleashed this monstrosity upon us? 

I couldn't help but wonder what had happened to all those, my friends, my family back home and across the globe who so boldly and bravely snapped photos of the ominous Blood Moon? 

I sent out a distressed message across the Facebook desperately hoping to hear back from anyone who might have survived the end of the world as we know it. I had within the hour  a few likes. But this inspired little confidence as I couldn't be sure if those likes weren't automated, not by the machine, but submerged deep into the psyche of my fellow Facebook users. What if the light of the Super Blood Moon turned the world into the most dreaded Facebook Zombie!

We've always joked about it. But what if it's real? Chills shot down my spine as a realization descended upon my mind. Oh no, I thought. We're all infected. Even myself. How could this be?? The Apocalypse truly is upon us! 

I threw my phone down with a gasp. After only a few moments I realized that it was the only means of communication I had with the rest of the world. So I carefully picked it back up and checked my new responses. 

If I can trust the messages--I'm choosing to trust them, so far Alaska has been confirmed safe. Wisconsin as well. I've heard mixed reports from Utah, but I'm holding on to hope. Lastly, I've been notified that D.C. Is absolutely gone. Utterly obliterated, any shred of common sense. But that was made clear to me last week as I passed through that place. I fear there is no hope for them.

I didn't know what to do at first. All of this seemed so crazy. Surreal. Then I remembered something. I had heard tales of an almost henge like structure near Athens, Georgia. Inscribed on the granite is instructions on how to proceed after an apocalyptic event written and funded by an anonymous source. It was less than two hours from where I was. With all the courage I could muster, I used the rest room.

 

I quietly made my way in and out of the building passing by several unaware travelers. I began to see that they were everywhere. People. People looking down at their tiny little screens, not even for a moment glancing up as I passed them. I, with a quivering lip got in my car and made my way to the Georgia Guidestones. 

I don't expect any divine guidance, or any actual instructions to give serious heed to, but I must at least try to muster the energy and discover a creative avenue to transition this story into an actual accounting of the Guidestones. Why, you ask? Because I'm too far into this now. It takes me four solid downward swipes of my thumb to get to the beginning of this story in my Notes App. Too many words have been written. They can't be simply erased. They are seared into my mind now as if with a glowing red iron. I'd be damned if I pretending like they didn't exist. I simply can't go back and start over. The only way my grizzled heart knows is forward...

To be continued...

Day 35: A Part of the History

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Day 35: 

I am tired. As soon as I get on the road my eyes become heavy. It's almost like the highway is a sleep aid. And wouldn't you know it, every time I pull off, I, more or less, wake up. I have been significantly slowing my pace. 

Today I went to church in a building I haven't seen since I was ten or eleven. There were no pews. Even in the chapel there were cushioned chairs that needed to be set up and taken down. At the maximum, I counted 39 people in the chapel, including everyone on the stage, the two missionaries and myself. 

Upon letting on to my name after being asked by the Sunday school teacher, I was delighted to hear that I was "a part of the history." It was delightful to hear their stories about my family, and my dad who served as the Branch President there in a life long ago.

They knew me there, even though I could only recognize some of their names and some of their faces. But I remember pretty clearly Susie Parker. She gave me a huge hug and wouldn't let go until she told me about the time I put my cowboy boots on backwards! And also how I would never wear shoes, inside or out. My thanks go out to the Brooks family for their hospitality. 

Right now I am currently taking the Brown family up on their offer to help me find a house and job so I could stay in the Branch and help them out. Yep. This is where my trip ends people. You always knew I was going back to the south. 

Ok, I can't elaborate on that one too much further. I'm totally kidding. Although I can't say I wasn't tempted. I'll be back to Utah sooner than I thought.

Since I have nothing else to share, I'll take this time to list the states that I've been to so far.

States in the order I have visited:

Utah 

Arizona 

Nevada

California

Oregon 

Washington 

Idaho 

Montana 

North Dakota

South Dakota 

Nebraska 

Iowa 

Minnesota 

Wisconsin 

Missouri 

Kansas

Illinois

Kentucky

Tennessee 

Indiana 

Ohio  

Michigan 

Pennsylvania 

New York 

Vermont 

New Hampshire

Maine 

Massachusetts 

Road Island 

Connecticut 

New Jersey 

Delaware 

Maryland 

West Virginia 

Virginia 

North Carolina 

South Carolina 

If you look at a map the rest of my trip is pretty straight forward. I'm afraid though that I might only have enough money to make it to Alaska and Hawaii but not enough for a return ticket. I'm still figuring that one out. Maybe my next project will be to do a thorough investigation into the exotic livelihood of the beach bum. How fitting would that be, to make it all this way only to find myself stranded on the beaches of Hawaii. We'll see what happens. 

Really right now, I am resting. On the morrow I will be visiting the Georgia Guide Stones. Wiki that. Or just wait so I can tell you about them. 

I am going to rest some more. Thank you guys so much. All of you! Or should I say, all y'all! 

Goodnight.



 

Day 34: Clio, SC

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I've got some down time, which is just wonderful. I'm here in Wallace, South Carolina, with family friends. 

On my way here I stopped at a Christian bookstore in North Carolina. The place was reported to be the home of a Creationist museum.

You know, for the most part, people are nice. That's why I spend a few dollars and buy expensive fudge from them whenever I can--that said, I am pretty sure that their anti-diluvian/oldest rock in the world, was dug up in their back yard, dusted off and put on display behind a glass case. 

Their case with "all the credible evidence for evolution" I'm assuming was supposed to be empty, but they had put a plastic snake in their coiled up around an apple. I think they were trying to make a point with it, so I let it slide until I ran into their overly large wall of, not so antique can-openers... I'm not kidding. I really am not sure how can-openers play a part in Christianity, or the creation of the world for that matter, but it was there. Like I said, I'm pretty sure some of the can-openers were bran new, recently picked up at the local grocer. They had little strings hanging off of them giving the year and make of each one. I'm not sure that any of them were older then ten years! 

To be fair, there were old tools displayed all around. Some of them actually looked to be antiques. Most of them were levels. I only remember levels so much because they kept appearing in clumps of ten or so throughout the museum randomly. Then, once I got to a wall of beanie babies, I was beginning to think that my mom should make a museum out of her garage! Love you ma:)

There were taxidermy animals, and other odd things saturating the entirety of the place with only the occasional biblical allusion. I saw a photo of the Lunar Lander and upon my wary reading of why they had the picture there, I was relieved to see that they weren't also denying the Moon landing. But rather, they were citing "evidences" found on the moon to suggest that it, along with the earth, were only several thousand years old as opposed to many billions.

All in all, I'd definitely say that it was--interesting? But surely, it was, what's the word... interesting? Yes, I'm going with that word. It was interesting.

I'm sorry to say, Wright Brothers, that I will look back on North Carolina and remember, not you, but... well, you know what? I'll still remember you because my brain is still having a difficult time processing that place. So, even though I didn't visit them, North Carolina still equals Wright Brothers. I'm very ok with that.

Once I left that odd place I went straight to, perhaps an odder place, Clio, South Carolina, my childhood home. Before I go on--just, wow. I tell you, I've driven through some sketchy places on my trip so far but Clio, I think takes the cake. It does so because it's not only ghetto, and it's not only dirty south, but it's also prime zombie apocalypse country. It tops the charts on all three of those scales. There should be an "avoid roads you might not make it down alive" option on Google maps. 

Seriously, I ended up on a dirt road of which I nearly got stuck. It was raining and the road was getting mucky. I almost spun out into the ditch when the road dipped down suddenly into a slosh pit. That would not have been good. There was a sign I passed that said "end of city improvement area." I'm not exactly sure why they'd need to specify that, especially since it didn't appear to differentiate or divide any areas. There was a house falling down on one side of the sign, and another house on the other side of it with a tree growing through the roof. Both of which had mail being delivered to their newish looking mailboxes.

It was the carcass of some unidentifiable beast being preyed upon in the middle of my muddy road by other sorts of living fowl, that finally tipped my hat that I should have probably found another road to drive down. But there was a problem. And it wasn't so much that I couldn't easily turn around on this specific road, but it was that there were no other nearby roads until I came out onto Hebron Dunbar Road, the one that my house sits on. I was too far in to go back.

I had been planning on asking the current residents if I could walk around the property once I got there but, well, let's just say that I quickly changed my mind upon seeing the condition of my house. It was a glorious sight at first, conjuring all sorts of childhood memories but upon closer inspection I realized that I wasn't too excited to see who might be behind those broken windows, that collapsing porch, and the token ferociously lazy slightly decrepit hound trying its best to bark. And even then I may have tried but I really felt like I should leave it alone. You'd think that these sorts of houses would be abandoned. They aren't. I snapped some pictures and left. 

I'm going to say goodnight here even though I actually wrote quite a lot more to this post. The rest is nothing too pertinent to the travel log though. I am just particularly low right now and I began to rant. I just need to sleep. Goodnight.


Day 33: Mournful Remembrance

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I'm just on the inside border of North Carolina at a rest stop on I-95. I didn't have a plan for NC, either. I'm not really sure what I should do here. I was planning on making it farther but my eyes were heavy so I pulled off to nap. It's been raining ever since I left Richmond. And it's been a thoroughly dreary day, I'd add with only one exception.

I, being inclined toward the grim beauty of Poe and somewhat inspired by his woeful existence and his persistent literary genius, I stopped at his Museum there in Richmond, as I had managed to miss out on his birthplace in Boston. I was there admiring the oldest house in Richmond, which housed a portion of the Museum, although never served as a residence of Poe himself, when the doors were opened at 10am. I was greeted quietly by a dark clothed, striking girl whose name escapes me. She was very pretty to say the least, however I can't be certain that she wasn't utterly a figment of my imagination. Her voice was soft, and her smile was genuine. It struck me as unique, her tone and mannerisms. 

After I had walked into the first room with the tour card that she had given me, she informed me with a smile that there were two black cats named Edgar and Pluto that roamed the garden area. Then she disappeared into an upper room of where she never returned. Upon heading outside I was, after only a few moments greeted by one of them. No name was on the collar that I could tell but I'm sure it was Pluto. Upon finishing the tour I was slightly disappointed to see that an older man had taken her place behind the desk. He was chatting away with two newcomers desiring to take the tour as well. 

Already having the complete works of Poe, I purchased his biography titled, Edgar A. Poe A Biography Mournful and Never-Ending Remembrance.

I signed the guestbook, commenting "beautifully dark" and left. 

To the striking figment of my imagination. Goodnight.


Day 32: Apothewhaty?

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Day 32: Apothewhaty??

I was a little impassioned when I wrote this. You can tell me if I'm being overzealous or simply a zealot.

People's emotions often times get the better of them and I'd be a fool to deny that it can happen to me. You can tell me if I'm blowing this out of proportion. You can tell me to calm down. I will seriously consider it.

You know how I said in my last post that D.C was on my mind? Well, I'm glad I camped out in Shenandoua for the day so I could visit the Capital Building after the Pope's visit. 

I should say that, yes, I am thrilled that I got to tour the building, but there was a moment amidst learning of the passionate and awesome history of how the whole structure came together that I found myself in the heart of the Capital feeling sorely disappointed. I even, after departing, stopped my trip through Virginia early so I could have more focused time to write about this concern of mine. And because of it I missed out on Unhappy Hour at the Edgar Allen Poe Museum there in Richmond. That isn't cool.

Here we go. For years I've been somewhat perplexed at why people, especially U.S citizens should think that the Mormon belief that we can ascend to Godhood is strange. I've thought this, because even though I've just barely, for the first time, visited the Capital Building, I've known about the Apotheosis of Washington for quite awhile. The Apotheosis of Washington is the painting in the dome of the rotunda in the Capital done by Constantino Brumidi in 1865.

Now, do you know what that word means? To be sure, The Apotheosis of Washington is depicting our first President, George Washington, being deified, or in other words, it is an illustration of George Washington becoming a God. So, you can imagine my disappointment and slight disbelief when my tour guide, as friendly as she was, hushed her tone for moment and defined to a group of thirty or so people that the word "apotheosis" means "to arise into heaven."

Now, I encourage you to look up the word for yourself if you don't already know that that IS NOT what the word means, but just for the sake of being thorough, here are three definitions from three different online dictionaries for the word, apotheosis: 1.

the elevation or exaltation of a person to the rank of a god.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/apotheosis

1

:elevation to divine status :deification

http://i.word.com/idictionary/apotheosis

The elevation of someone to divine status; deification.

http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english apotheosis

Ok. So I get it. If you are Mormon, you might just naturally assume that "arising into heaven" means that you've got your spouse there with you, sealed for time and eternity, and will, through the process of arising become like God. You'll have your own personal apotheosis. But even still I think that a distinction between arising into heaven and being deified is kind of important to make. 

If you don't already associate the two as almost the same thing than conveniently omitting the true meaning of the word apotheosis in describing what is happening to Washington grandly misconstrues the original intentions of the painter and those who requested it be done.

It not only misconstrues it, but it seemed to be a blatant attempt to downplay or almost hide, I'd say, the immensity of what the painting is truly illustrating. Not to mention it's simply dishonest. The truly interested party does not learn of what Washington's apotheosis really means and their minds are not impressed with the grandest implications of it.

I'm going to be completely honest right now. There are few things that really and truly make me angry. This is one of those things. Why should that lady not be telling her groups what apotheosis actually is?

I can't say that I don't care what you believe. I do. But that's only because I am unendingly fascinated with why it is that people hold certain beliefs. Be Christian, be an atheist, be Jewish. Believe what you may, but whatever you choose to believe I'd hope you'd have some sort of conviction that passionately arouses your faculties toward a pursuit of truth.

If this is how they've always explained to the public what The Apotheosis of Washington is, than there is no wonder why the average U.S. citizen has been perplexed and in some cases persecuted the church for sustaining a belief that we can become gods. In reality this is no unique belief. People throughout history have held this belief. But it appears that there have always been people trying to downplay this belief as well, if not eradicate it completely.

I cannot relate to the atheist, but to any one who believes in life after death certainly we have commonground enough to extend the drawbridges of theological/philosophical thought processes into genuine discussion.

I find great purpose in learning as much as I can in this life. What do you suppose I should I do in the next? And then what do you suppose might be the consequences of endlessly learning?

Goodnight.

Day 31: Black Bears and Bivouacs

Day 31: Black Bears and Bivouacs

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Part 1: Bivouacs 

I began my day early. It was a little before 6:30am when I hit the road. My first stop was about an hour away, Gettysburg. 

As I got closer I imagined old civil war battalions marching through the mists  that were blanketing the open fields as light began to trickle over the horizon. I couldn't help but think how they, hovering with an almost pinkish hue, resembled the appearance of the sealed cloud chamber inside the Museum of Science back in Boston.

Subatomic particles or ghosts? Perhaps that is a discussion for another day.

Once I made it to the cemetery I walked a little, read poetry a little, and took pictures a little. Each of those things I'd like to briefly address.

Walking: From day one I have continually bemoaned the fact that I somehow managed to bring only skate shoes along with me on this trip. No boots or hiking shoes whatsoever. It turns out that my pure black Daewon's make a great Sunday shoe, my white DVS's sturdy hiking shoes, my black DVS's when I need a nice casual feel, and my grey Lakai Selects for actually skating. But apparently I'm not even utilizing that strategy very well since my wet socks testify against the holes in my Selects that I used to hike around the Gettysburg fields. Oh yeah, and I drive barefoot. They are the first things to go when you find yourself continually behind the wheel, followed by the socks, then belt, and then the pants altogether! Basketball shorts people. Geeze. 

Poetry: Along the path that circled around the monuments great and small, throughout the Gettysburg National Military Park there were quant and unobtrusive plaques every so often with, what I, at first thought were individual quatrains dedicated to the fallen soldiers written by unknown or at least uncited authors. Not being able to find any information on the lymrics I resorted to the internet. It turns out the four lined ABAB schemed rhymes are a greater singular work written by a Theodore O'Hara titled The Bivouac of the Dead. I recommend you read it. I'd share a link to it here but I'm literally typing this huddled under a blanket with one thumb, my other hand under my head hours after midnight in a signal-less forest rife with black bears. I digress. Suffice it to say, the poem is striking, swelling the soul with enlightening melancholy. The Bivouac of the Dead.

I recall stumbling through the Gettysburg Address, reciting it to the teacher a few years ago in a political science class at UVU. It is the only class that I ever got an A in. Thinking back on it, I don't even know how I managed that.

Pictures: I started this trip with a MacBook Pro, a GoPro, a D3600 Nikon, and my iPhone. My Mac, early on, you're aware gave up the ghost, my GoPro was reliant on my Mac for its power source so it too is out of use, my Nikon holds a good charge but I am using it sparsely as outlets aren't exactly the easiest things to utilize while on the road; I think the last time I charged it's battery was in the theater at the Rock and Roll Museum in Cleveland! Not to mention I don't have anywhere other than my SD cards to store the photos. Fortunately I had the good sense to bring my wifi connecter that allows me to transfer photos from the Nikon to my iPhone, of which I am continually running out of space. I have a free Dropbox account and Google Photo account that I can access from my phone but only when I have a wifi signal, at least it appears to me, can I upload photos to them but I have yet to utilize fully their conveniences since wifi is also a rare commodity on the road. Conveniences are difficult when they aren't particularly convenient.  

This whole photo thing has been slightly frustrating as you can imagine, but I am trying to implement a more stoic attitude and just be where I am at the moment, appreciating the sights first hand and not worrying so much about the cameras. Still I use them when the moments are particularly calling for it, but really I'm only scaling back my photography because I am quite obliged to. 

Part 2: Black Bears

I had purposefully avoided the Baltimore area for reasons not needing explanation and also I tried to justify staying out of DC, but as I was driving south on 81 away from Gettysburg the thought wouldn't leave my mind that I needed to go see the rotunda in the Capital Building, as I wasn't able to visit it last time I was there. But it was closed due to the Papal visit until about 1pm on the 24th. That would be Thursday. I had to find out what I should do for a day while I waited to visit DC. I pulled off at a rest area, pulled out my map and began thinking. 

The thought occurred to me that I had a tent, brand new and unopened admittedly. I've had it for probably over a year as well, but I threw it in my truck on the outset of my trip just in case. I also noted that there was the Shenandoua National Park less than an hour away from where I was. So I did what anyone would do and hit up walmart, grabbed some granola bars and jerky, VIPed my way through the gate with my national parks pass and stopped at the first camp ground I came to.

As I was checking out my plot of ground I ran across a black bear casually strolling through my spot! He looked at me as if to say, "what's up man? Got any Doritos?" He strolled off after a minute. Strolling seems to be the word to describe how they walk! 

I set up my tent with the intention of spending the evening reading but as soon as I settled in I almost immediate fell asleep. It was around 4pm, Wednesday. I've been particularly tired as of late. I woke up 8 hours later at midnight. 

Having to come to terms with the fact that the crunching yards away from my tent could very well be a bear, or Bigfoot, or a ghoul or beast of some sort only known in tales of horror and the minds of those whom those horrors have occurred, I take solace in the stars. My tent allows me to see them through its top. 

My phone is nearly dead and I just got a notification that my storage is nearly full. I've got to figure something out. Right now though, I'm going to meditate until the sun comes up. I'll post this as soon as I can. By virtue of you reading this, it means that I didn't get eaten. Goodnight. 

Day 30: Love

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Day 30:

I've been on the road one month. It's hard to believe I've been able to sustain my self for this long. I think I'm gonna make it. As long as I remain selfish that is. 

So, I was going to do a recap of all the states I've been to on day thirty but I've got to spend this time addressing something that happened today. 

A lot has happened today actually. I'll try my best to keep it short though. 

I thought that the highlight of my day might have been when I walked around Love Park in Philly. The ledges of Love are practically as historic as all the other stuff in the city. I mean, I grew up watching all the best skaters in the world do runs around this park! The tricks done into the fountain have been the most legendary! From the first ollies into it to Cole's onslaught during the last days of skating it that include a switch frontside flip, backside flip, backside 360, and then Andrew Reynolds frontside flip, and Jeremy Wray's front 360, and a handful of other tricks done by less than a handful of skateboarders both willing and able to even attempt tricks into the fountain, I've jealously and joyfully watched them over the years.

Even though I've never been there before I almost felt nostalgia as I ran my hand over the, oh, so smooth waxed ledges. But that was only the beginning and not what has stuck out in my heart today. 

My tour around the Eastern State Penitentiary was much more enlightening than I thought it would be. The fearsome gargoyles ominously guarding the front gate to the prison were designed purposefully to strike fear into those entering the walls in order to encourage true penance for the crimes committed. The place is a "stable ruin" I believe is what they said. It is falling apart and they aren't doing anything to stop it other than keeping the main pathways safe for visitors to walk through. 

The whole castle like building was designed with great symbolism in mind. The doorways to each cell were purposefully designed too short so the inmates had to bow their heads in order to enter while a single hole in the ceiling of each shone the light of the sun into the center of there cells, obviously meant to symbolize the light of Christ. 

The building is nearly 200 years old and astonishingly it was only closed in the 70's. And Capone himself spent eight months there, in a cell with oriental rugs, fine furniture, and a radio no less! This was before he went to Alcatraz.

The whole experience was haunting, enlightening, and educational as we were told about the issues facing today's prisons while contrasting them with how prisons operated hundreds of years ago in the early States.

I could go on but time is limited. Suffice it to say it was a remarkable place to visit but still not what I remember most from today.

Moving on, you'd think then, that even the highlight might have been when I ate my first real Philly Cheesesteak. But it wasn't. It actually didn't taste that good. Why you ask? Well, it didn't have to do with the quality of it or the hands that prepared it. And, what I'm about to explain isn't really a highlight for me, but more so a call to repentance. It struck me deep and I had to eat my Cheesesteak with a heavy heart.

There are a lot of homeless people in Philadelphia, really in any large city. And you kind of get used to turning them down when they ask for money. It breaks my heart a little but I really don't know what can be done about the matter. Giving out money doesn't help you or them. It just perpetuates a very difficult situation.

That said, I was paying for my cheesesteak when a worn looking older man approached me. I knew he was about to ask me for a handout. I put my hand out and said "sorry man." 

He said, "my name ain't 'sorry man', it's Walt." 

I said that I was sorry again and began to pay for my food. He looked at me frustrated and began to rebuke me. He said the wold is a beautiful place and that there was nothing sorry about him or any of God's creations. He commenced to tell me that he wasn't looking for money but just a bite to eat. At this point though he wouldn't have accepted anything from me, and he in reverse would have been pitying me had I attempted to give him my cheesesteak. He walked away with a stern warning that I better not ever say "sorry" again.

I sat down on a nearby bench and emptily ate my sandwich. Banners hung on ever lamp post welcoming Pope Francis who is visiting the city in a few days. They portrayed him smiling with words saying things like, "have faith to be truly happy" and "love those around you". Many of the homeless though, were preparing and had their own signs addressing and soliciting even the Pope for handouts citing love and charity scriptures. 

I walked around the city for awhile and people were everywhere sleeping on benches, huddled up against walls with tins out in front of them. Most of them looked on the verge of death they looked so miserable. 

What is a Christian supposed to do? After my encounter with Walt I was almost brought to tears in thoughtful contemplation of what I should have done, how I should have acted. What would Christ do? I can't say that a person shouldn't just give everything he has to everyone else because that is what Christ did, didn't he? Aren't we supposed to love one another unconditionally with all our hearts? 

I have to sleep now but, I'd ask, how is a person supposed to justify turning a blind eye toward those unfortunate souls on the streets. It doesn't matter if they want money for drugs or alcohol, they might just want a bite to eat. And even those who do abuse substances, are they sub human? Are they not our neighbors as well? What is to be done?

I was excited to see Love Park today. And it was cool, but I feel like I failed in the respects concerning what it actually is to love, which has burdened me, and it's made my trip to Philadelphia somewhat hollow. 

 

Day 29: Subatomic

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Day 29: 

Alright, I have to confess something. This might come as a shock to some of you, others maybe not so much, but I have a problem. No, it's not my unabashed love of chocolate chip cookies. I don't really see that as a problem by the way. It's something a little more, let's just say, unbecoming. And the only reason I'm bringing it up is because it made up quite a large portion of my day today. On occasion I've been known to cuss like a sailer. Usually this only happens when I'm having a particularly bad skate session. But I've noted that it also happens when I am driving through these cities: San Fransisco, Chicago, Detroit, and Boston. Seattle and Cleveland have been very good to me, and although New York City, was absolutely ridiculous, strangely, on my trip there earlier this year I remember enjoying that adventure more than cursing it. I don't plan to re-tempt the NYC gods in that regard. I must have had a really good chocolate chip cookie that day.

Alright, I made the voyage down from Portland, Maine, today into Boston. And honestly, the city wasn't that bad until I missed my parking garage turn into the Museum of Science. Ok, I thought, I'll just go around the block and circle back around... Half the city and forty five minutes later I made the last hour that the museum was open, which was, oh, so hard for me. There was so, so much to see, to fiddle with and to do, but so little time. I must have looked like an over excited child rushing from one spinning thing to the next. 

Out of it all though there was one thing that gave me great pause. Oh, and it was marvelous. In the Take a Closer Look section there was a cloud chamber. This small, flat square, sealed box allowed you to see the paths of subatomic particles whizzing by in every direction. And not only that, but their were certain distinctive traits to each cloud disruption that made it so you could tell what sort of particle it was. My jaw dropped when it dawned on me that what the cloud chamber was allowing me to see were actual, physical things, zooming all around us in every direction, nearly permanently undetectable by any means whatsoever. When a disruption whipped the clouds in a line going away from where I was standing that meant that that particle had literally just passed through my body and into the chamber effortlessly and without any notice by me or anyone else, but because of the very specifically tuned and pressurized cloud chamber it's secrecy became known, even if but for a moment. 

You could say that a light went on in my head, but that expression really doesn't do this justice. What happened in my mind when I saw this simple little thing filled me with pure joy and it has forever enlighten me. It has demystified the strange and perplexing world of subatomic particles. Reading about them and watching documentaries about them, although, fascinating have always seemed to deepen the mystery, but this basic museum artifact in its simple grandeur has made them real. And even now my understanding of the subatomic world is expanding as new pathways are being connected by new and exhilarating thoughts.

The only other thing I wish I could have seen was the Van de Graaf generator operating. You know, the giant machine that produces electricity that shoots out in all directions! There were smaller version which were really cool. But the big one. The big one would have been freakin awesome to see! It's ok, I have six months to go back for free with my same ticket. At least that's what I thought they said I could do. 

Well, I'm am too tired right now. That has been the highlights. Thank you and Goodnight.

Day 28: Positive Attitudes Only

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Day 28: 

I met up with a friend who is also traveling. We met in Concord, New Hampshire last night. After we found a church to take the Sacrament this morning, Mr. Bullock and I made the trek out to Bar Harbor, Maine. All I can say is "wow." Maine is a gorgeous state. Of course we had to find a place to indulge in the local lobster, and you know, it won't be an experience I soon forget!

After dinner we found a beach. The chill was just in the air, the rocks, jagged and black, a single cruise ship could be seen while multiple white sailed personal craft casually made their way around in the distance. And that horizon. Oh, that horizon. What a sight it was. The setting sun seemed to linger longer than normal. It took its time to paint the sky with vivid colors. It did it brilliantly!

Wouldn't you know it though, upon making my way off of the beach, I slipped on one of those jagged rocks. My left knee took the brunt of the impact, slightly overextending it as well. It feels a little swollen now and it's donning some of the same aforementioned colors. 

However, I am no stranger to knee troubles, so it didn't stop me from enjoying a mini ramp session at dusk at the nearby park. There was a mini ramp just sitting in the middle of a grass field! I didn't have a helmet as the sign required but I made up for it with a doubly positive attitude, as was also a rule for using the ramp! 

So, changing gears a little, as you may have noted, I have been slightly combining my travel log with my rants. The lack of computer justifies this amalgam. It's just too inconvenient to separate my blogs right now. I think it is working though, as long as I keep it balanced. 

I wanted to just briefly mention how conflicted I was about posting Day 27. I've read over it a dozen times already and each time I see an abundance of new flaws. I have to remind my self continually that these posts can't be perfect. I don't have a lot of time to write these,(a few hours at the most usually at the end of each day) let alone review them. That said, I am writing this post even in the spirit of perseverance and obligation as I am still in the "doubting this whole trip" funk. To be honest, I just want to go home. As alluring as that prospect is though, I would regret not finishing this project. It would be kind of really sad. 

But, one day at time. Positive attitudes only? Well, I don't know about only. But maybe a little more often than not. Goodnight.








Day 27: All Things

 

I spent about an hour in a very interesting library today. The Haskel Free Library and Opera House sits directly on the border of The United States, Vermont, and Canada. You could freely cross from one side to the other as you searched out the books you'd like to read. As I typically do in libraries, I found my way to the religious material where bibles of all variety sat. I found amidst them a Book of Mormon and then found a place on the Canadian side to sit. I read the first chapter, 1 Nephi 1, a chapter I've read probably a hundred times more than the last, Moroni 10.

Now, I'm only writing this because I promised, on the outset of this journey, that I would do my best to document my travels and also to post to a blog the most significant events along the way. It just so turns out that no matter what wonders of the world I behold, I am, curiously, most interested in the wonders that reside beyond this world. So, fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, depending upon who you are, this blog is tending to become saturated with points of theology and personal testimony of yours truly. 

In regards to why I promised myself that I would post everyday to a travel log for others to read, and why that is significant, I'd let you, my readers on to something. I knew there would come a time on this trip when I would want to scrap this whole project and delete all of my entries. Why would I do this you ask? Well, I'll tell you, but while I do, I have to share with you some other things. Here we go.

I'd like to address something of utmost importance. I want to try to explain my thoughts on a topic that is continually on my mind. That is, in ultimate respects, what the nature of God is contrasted with the nature of man. Also, how a person can know anything at all and how a man can share that knowledge with others if it is indeed once obtained.

To ease any concerned souls out there, and before I say anything more I want to make it vividly clear that the LDS faith is my faith. I would be damned if I were to deny the heat of the fires that have blazed in my heart or the imagery that has so thoroughly impressed itself upon my mind over the years pertaining to the LDS doctrine. Suffice it to say, I don't much like being damned. 

This testimony though, is by no means any reason to let inquiry into deeper understanding be stifled concerning the more perplexing issues facing the church. In fact, it should be grounds enough to endeavor to seek out more thoroughly answers to the problems at hand. A problem that I see, and one that concerns me greatly is that, though I believe that things are indeed in an eternal perspective black and white, clean cut, and definitive, where we are now, living in a world swayed by two second sound bites, one liners, and catchy memes propagating through social media faster than even the controversies themselves develop, I'd say that no topic is so easily labeled black or white. 

Certainly God can reveal the truth to any individual He deems fit in a moment. But if I understand a certain principle correctly, we, ourselves can usher in divine revelation and even the knowledge of God through prayer, study, and diligent searching which I would contrast with the other means of finding truth through the short lived quips abundant online. Faith certainly is a vital attribute to utilize when desiring to come to a knowledge of the things of God. However, and this point I will fight for to my dying day, is that the moment a person becomes complacent in his faith regardless of denomination or other system of belief whatsoever, or that is to say, his "faith" has led him to stop searching, than he may as well be damned.

It is here, at this crossroads that I feel I have raised some concerned eyebrows. And this breaks my heart a little. Yes, I do admit openly that I, more often than not feel lost. This is no new thing. Even in the walls of the church, the temples, even in fervent prayer often times I feel like I don't have any purpose. There are answer that come to me, and there are moments where I am overcome with peace and brilliant wonder as I ponder upon the mind of God, but all in all, I, on a daily basis am greatly depressed. 

The question as to why a person should feel so depressed if he is actually in the right faith or religion, to me needs not to be addressed since it shouldn't be assumed that the truth makes everything always honky-dory. In fact, I'd actually assume just the opposite. 

It is right now at this moment that I wish to stop posting to this blog and delete all of my previous posts. But I am not going to. I am going to finish this project and I am going to write what I may. But why should I even think about abandoning this project in the first place?

There are times when I am overcome with the desire to retreat, to emerge myself into a lone darkness where I don't have to see anybody, or anything. And it's not enough for myself to retreat physically. I don't want anyone to ever see what I've done, what I've written, what I've accomplished or what I haven't. I do this because no matter what I've done, good or bad, there is always opposition. I don't have trouble with that. Opposition is inevitable. I am troubled by the fact that I, in my position as someone who recognizes in myself the ability to persuade people one way or the other, might be opposing in some regard, in some way what is actually true without even knowing it. And in this place where everyone seems to know so much more than I, I feel great anxiety about anything that I have shared with the world. Often I worry about what I have said. Words tend to stick around, especially when posted once to the Internet. This is why it is of great concern to me to understand how I know what it is that I profess to know. A "feeling" seems to be the most common descriptive word to illustrate ones knowledge of the divine. But I don't need to tell you that feelings can often mislead. And the fact that there are people who feel strongly that the church is true as well as people who feel strongly that it isn't, perplexes me. Is one feeling inspired when the other is not? And if this is so, then what is the distinction? There certainly should be one that is recognizable. And if this is the case than why does everyone not recognize it? This burdens me.

Other than the beautiful people in my life, there are two things that give me cause to rise out of this depression, to press forward. One is that I can engage freely in the pursuit of knowledge, and the other is my relationship with Heavenly Father.

And sadly it's these two things, not per se in my own consciousness, but how I perceive them to be understood by the world around me that appear to be at odds with one another. I want to know, I want to absolutely know, intimately my faith. That knowledge doesn't end for me at the niceties offered in Sunday School. I make no argument against the innocent and wonderful testimonies of the blooming spirit, the developing fervor of those first seeking out the truth. To me, the testimony of the child is perhaps the most sincere, the most sacred. The knowledge of the Atonement in a repentant soul needs not to account for and reconcile the rolodex of controversial issues pertaining to the faith. That said, those rolodexes do exist. And not only do they, but the contents of them are often times great stumbling blocks for many people. 

We can draw some pictures in the sand here. 1. We can rely on our faith to justify, how I would almost see it as ignoring those controversies, since they don't really matter in the grand scheme of things, because the church is true, regardless. The problem with this mindset is that it causes the appearance to others who have investigated these issues more thoroughly that we are really just blind sheep choosing not to deal with the harsher realities of our chosen faith. This inspires little the confidence of the skeptic. Or 2. We can search these things out for ourselves and be knowledgeable about them just as we are encouraged to learn about other things in the world. Certainly we are encouraged to learn! But perhaps there is a problem with this as well. It might encourage fact wars within the faith. We might be tempted to prove with facts that our religion is more correct than another. Certainly we are discouraged from doing that.

I bring this up to point one thing out. It frustrates me to see this happen. And it happens all the time. Often times we discredit, refute, and refuse to acknowledge points of fact or evidences that appear to go contrary to our dearly held beliefs, but as soon as there is a single shred of evidence pointing to what we believe, we laud it from the roof tops! Do you believe in evidence, or do you believe in your paradigm. Why should a person make a show of a piece of evidence suggesting that their idea is correct while downplaying other pieces of evidence to the contrary unless that person had a perhaps, less than genuine agenda? Shouldn't the truth be the primary goal?

Do you believe that it's possible to behold greater things if we broaden our horizons and try to more thoroughly incorporate the ideas that have lighted upon the minds of others that perhaps aren't the same lightenings that have rested upon yours? 

But what of the doctrine of Christ? Is a person to denounce it, or their interpretation of it over circumstantial evidence? Of course not. I'd add however, that there are plenty of entrenched dogmas out there that plenty of people would substitute for the doctrine of Christ. 

You know, no matter how I cut it, I can't get over the Book of Mormon. It is an astounding piece of literature. I know that I use the word beautiful too often, but that is what it is, pure and simple. And I wish that I could think about this post more before I post it, but my phone is dying, and it is late. Suffice it to say, I cannot say anything beyond that of the impressive last words writing by Moroni. The whole chapter seems to sparkle with magnificence. It is remarkable what we can understand because surely 

...by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

Moroni 10:5

It is late, and I am here in the backseat of my car ready for sleep. Goodnight. And God bless.

Day 26: Champ

image.jpg

 

Right now it's a little after noon. I have ventured from the winding path through pristine woods and am currently dangling my feet off of the edge of a rock face overlooking the sparkling lake Champlain in Vermont. I could dive in if I wanted to. The "No Diving off Cliffs" sign I would imagine almost encourages the activity. It means they are good cliffs to dive from.

Mentally stacking an image of myself standing erect from the surface of the water to where I am I've estimated the height to be between 60 to 80 feet. I'd do it but I'm pretty sure I see Champ out there. I think he's getting closer!

It was getting closer but it wasn't Champ. It was a slow rolling wake which gives the appearance at times of a large serpent like creature.  So, yeah, it wasn't Champ. I guess that means I have to jump now. Wait a second, I've got my phone and wallet on me... Yeah, phone and wallet. I'd totally do it otherwise. 

There have been about 300 documented sightings of this lake monster since 1609 when French explorer Samuel de Champlain first gave an accounting of the creature. I won't be adding one to the count. I don't deny that there could be some creature either currently or some time in the past unknown to science making his abode in the lake. But I also wonder how many of those 300 were nothing more than a slow rolling wake. 

When you think about it, there have been less than a hundred documented sightings per century. (I did that right, right?) That isn't a lot. Taking into account how many of those were hoaxes, misidentifications, or later resolved to be debris or other known animals there doesn't appear to be much evidence for the creature's existence. 

It's funny. Out of all of the hype surrounding Champ, for me, the greatest piece of evidence isn't the photos purporting to be the creature, or the sonar readings purportedly hearing the creature, or the hundreds of eye witnesses since Champlain, but rather, it is the accounts of the creature Tatoskok which is the Iroquois and the Abenaki Native American original name for the creature which is emblazoned in their legends.

For some reason, since the Native Americans have a legend about the beast, it makes it easier for me to believe.

So maybe I don't really believe in Champ. But I bet Tatoskok is out there somewhere. 

It's night now. Oh, those stars. Goodnight.

Ps. I am in a bed tonight thanks to some good friends. Thank you! Also, due to some conflicts of heart I am going to try and post to Writs and Rants tonight. I might not make it though. Sleep is coming. Again, goodnight.

 

Day 25: Adirondack

 

New York is a gorgeous state. I feel as though that is all I can report today because I've done little more than drive some, admire some, and rest a lot. I'll be taking a ferry in the morning into Vermont. I'm excited about that. 

Otherwise, I can report that I am back on track in my writing. I've been wanting to post something to my Writs and Rants blog for awhile but I think I need to hold off on that until I can really get my thoughts together. 

It's appropriate that today is a short post since I posted earlier in the day my last entry about Kirtland. 

But all in all I'm doing well. I am feeling good and I am thoroughly enjoying the New York country side.  Thank you everyone for your support and love. Goodnight from the Adirondack Mountains!