I'm here, cramped in the back seat of my car. It's nearly midnight. There is a lake before me and the stars are out. I'm in the gorgeous New York State typing with my thumbs on a tiny screen. This disadvantage allows only the most important experiences to be documented, and even them, in brief.
Today my soul was riveted. Today I was taught in the school of the prophets in Kirtland, Ohio, in the same room where many gave vivid descriptions of their visions of Christ. Today for a moment, I was the only soul sitting contemplatively in the upper room of the Kirtland Temple as the Community of Christ tour guide stepped out. Leaving me alone, a worn Hebrew textbook in my hands, the same that might have been studied by the Prophet himself. I was the only one there.
Today my mind has been called up to great mysteries, to peaceful answers, and as usual in clear contrast, great heartache.
How is that no matter where I go, no matter what I do, and no matter who I speak with, no matter what size or appearance of the waves which wash over my inner self, I am continually vexed with a spirit that makes me groan in my depths. There are beautiful things that inspire me. Certainly, the scenery of this nature so elegant, so grand, so rolling it seems as I travel from one state to the next is worth admiring in solemn wonder. And there are truths that enlighten me. Certainly there is a finer reality that seems to play hide and seek as the coarse mind flickers as a bulb in a dark room. There are little things that make me smile. Certainly, the quips of the experienced elderly, and the innocent enquiring of the child give precedent to stand back and appreciate the innocence, the experience. There are people that love me. Certainly I I love them in return. And there is the Gospel of Christ that saves me. But there is also, certainly, this burden defying illustration, resting like a stone in the lowest parts of my being. It's why my eyes are always tired. It's why my head always hurts. It's why for the most part I am a little too comfortable with solitude. It's why I enjoy writing.
I am bound by the limits of this world. But in my words, I can create universes.
I will end this with my thoughts on mummies. I do not have the experience or knowledge enough to explain the apparent inconsistencies in the papyrus of where the LDS faith derives the book of Abraham. In my very brief jaunt into the contemporary and secular understandings of Egyptology there does appear to be many unsettling oddities that could easily be used to denounce the validity of the faith. This must be so otherwise there wouldn't be a controversy.
However, and not to justify blind faith, I think, considering the immense implications and nature of this whole business, the truthfulness of the Church, I'd unequivocally say that further study is required.
An easy answer would be to say that God can do anything and that Joseph is a better interpreter by way of being divinely inspired as Prophet Seer and Revelator than any otherwise considered authorities on the matter. This might be so, but the truthfulness of that statement is by no means meant to let the enquirers parish in unbelief, or in other words, there would be, under this example no motivation to learn of the nature of anything at all, for any phenomenon of the universe or of the mind or of the soul could be easily explained by the lazy statement "God did it."
Certainly God gave us enquiring minds. And certainly He didn't do this for us to let them atrophy. There are answers to every question. And we are capable of discovering what those answers are, no matter the question.
Perspective I think is the key. A person could continually discover and unveil the mysteries of the universe, upon every one building a body of evidence that there appears to be no God, all the while another man might be unveiling those same mysteries coming to the conclusion that he is gaining ever deeper insights into the mind of God.
All the while, perhaps God, in his infinite wisdom waits for us to realize an astounding truth of which often gets overlooked, that it's us as well, not solely himself in his Godhood who is eternal. The implications of this once realized should impress the mind with incredible paradigm shifting consequences. What does it mean to be eternal?
Goodnight.