I wrote this in a spirit of depression. I was kind of lost when I started writing about my day and it turned into this. It's not so much a report about my day as it is just thoughts that have been weighing on my mind recently. I was hesitant to post it last night because I know sometimes I can get a little aloof with my writing and I was tired when I wrote it as well. I've reviewed it now that I am fully awake, revised it and I feel a little better about it. But be warned, this is my poetic, ultimate truths, nearly insane side. I will post day 23 early tomorrow. Thank you.
Do you know what hell is? Hell is rushing down a lake shore road to Cedar Point, Ohio, camera at the ready, believing that you'll be able to behold some wondrous scene as the ephemerally setting sun dips below a glowing three toned pristine lake, but realizing all too late that Cedar Point offers no place to peacefully observe even for a moment the glorious artwork of God. All the while being pressured onward by those behind you so as to not allow you to pull off, turn around, or even stop for a moment and reevaluate, forcing you to glean Heaven from a dirty and retreating rearview mirror. Hell is the moment you realize that you've been spending all of your time driving down the wrong road.
Sadly, what you just read is a true story. Both literally for me at this moment and figuratively for anyone who has ever experienced the sorrow and torment that accompany the harsh moment of clarity when a comfortable paradigm is shattered.
I can't tell you how important it is to continually evaluate where we are as individuals. There is a Heaven. This is certain. Physical or metaphysical, it doesn't matter. What matters is that the roads we drive down determine where we go. And we have the capability to recognize, through metaphor and through simile, truths that otherwise might only ever be realized after the cold hard facts have settled and implemented their consequences upon the conscious soul.
There really is a place where one can begin to behold the glory of God, weave through the infinite strands and start to comprehend the depths of the Atonement of Christ, and, ultimately allow the spirit to descend and sanctify the body, heart and mind.
There really is that place, but there are many roads that would make you think they're taking you there when in reality they only take you so far. Some blatantly take you right on through the gates of hell, while more often, others show you a nice and convincing path to that grand and glorious sunset even allowing you at times glimpses of its grandeur with signs ushering you onward.
Being on the road every single day I think about these things. How on earth is a person supposed to determine which road is the correct one if there are so many enticing but opposing routes to take? I don't suppose there is an easy way on earth to figure it out. But what I do suppose are a few things I hold to be true which might help in directing our paths. 1. I hold to be true that there is life after death. 2. That we are immense beings, intelligent with endless potential. 3. That there is a God and we, being endless in nature are capable of understanding deep within ourselves who this God is and subsequently what road will take us closer to him. And 4. That only through long suffering and patient love can you begin to help others understand the deeper and often times difficult principles of this universe. You will never usher in providence through degrading, bashing, hating, exploiting, gossiping,
using, downplaying, or manipulating others.
Even if you're just absolutely certain that someone you care for is on the wrong road, maybe the best thing to do is to take a closer look at the road you are on. Certainly the consequences of that evaluation will bring about better results for you and the person you care about, than an all out assault on this other person's chosen road.
Love one another. Pray continually. And then you might begin to see the hand of God.
After the heart-breaking realization that I was, indeed, not going to be able to sit peacefully and watch the sun, I began driving away, when suddenly, to my right I saw something nearly as beautiful, an old memorial cemetery just before dusk.
Call me odd, but there seems few things to me more peaceful than a quiet cemetery nearing the night. I walked around taking in the scenery.
Obelisks stood all around, tombs lay above the ground, Angels with wings stood and sat, some glorious and others nearly curious, perhaps contemplating even why we put so much emphasis on death when it is in life that we should rejoice.
Crosses, grand and small abounded signifying the sacrifice and immense victory over death for the Christian, while American flags silently waved in the gentle breeze next to medals offered for the valiant warriors of this earth who served in grisly wars. And then there were the roses. Being ever still, yet contrasting the grey and the green with their vivid red, tenderly beautiful, standing as a sentiment of love and passion. Never forget.
I was the only one there yet breathing. But it was peaceful. Never taking for granted the sorrows, and the heartbreaks, being respectful of every stone I passed, I touched some of the older ones. The letters were fading away and it was difficult to read their names. It's hard to imagine what lives must have been like. Who were these people? How did they pass? Surely, stories begin to change and be forgotten, and memories fade. But one thing is certain. They were humans like you I are and they once lived. Without knowing any of their stories beyond what I could denote from the words on their headstones, I can sympathize with that fact. They lived once.
That might now be much you think, but I'd like to ask you a few things. Have you ever loved some one? Has your heart ever been broken? Have you ever hated someone? Have you ever cried out in the night for help and felt like no one was there? Have you ever smiled as some new principle previously unknown rested gently upon your mind? Certainly these are things that nearly every can relate to if you are blessed enough to be called a human.
Whether you're a good person or bad person doesn't really matter when you realize that even terrible people are beautiful and loved in the eyes of Christ. Even the horrendously demonic creatures that haunt our dreams and strike fear into our hearts seem to lose their power as the thought descends upon ones mind that love defends against all things, and that it heals and reaches to and beyond the most gruesome and harrowing depths of hell. We start to see that Gargoyles become Angels, and that demons become merely heartbroken, fallen centurions from the highest courts. We begin to see even the most loathsome creatures with compassion as opposed to disgust. How is it that we can look out and find it in us to hate?
If only it were that simple. Actually, I think it is.
Goodnight.
