Being the last entry that I will post to this travel log, I want to make it a nice one. I want it to be one that encompasses the feel of my whole trip. That said, I feel somewhat at a loss for words. I will begin to write and see what happens.
What was the feel of this trip? I contemplate this as I sit here in Utah, the place where I began. I learned a lot as I traveled. I saw a lot. I met and talked with a lot of people. I have begun to realize that a lot can be done with a little.
I smile as I try to find a way to illustrate how I think the sentiment of that reality, that a lot can be done with a little, can, perhaps, offer insight into something beautiful.
Is that sentiment to be taken as that more energy is produced by less? I feel that this has been verified to be impossible. Thermodynamics. Entropy. Physics and whatnot. Yet it seems to me that even just a single word, or perhaps, a conversation entertained in the spirit of love and understanding can move a mountain, if even that mountain looms merely in the mind, or its affiliated valleys, be them even the darkest ones that take up residence in the heart.
What has been the feel of this trip, I think can be painted by way of sharing with you that, I, being asked by several people since being home how many miles I traveled and how much the whole trip cost, have found myself quite unsure of the answer to either of those questions. In the moment of inquiry I've thrown numbers out there but have utterly failed to note thoroughly anything that would provide the answer to those questions. I merely felt, on the outset of this journey, that I had enough and was prepared for the event should it not have been so. And guess what. I pretty much had exactly what I needed.
Some might feel this to be foolhardy. I won't deny this, nor will I defend myself, as this sort of mindset, I am aware can be very reckless and less than wise. That said, I embarked on this journey in response to an inner yearning of which I equally could not deny. I began this trip in a spirit of faith that everything would work out one way or another. And I don't mean that everything, no matter what happened would culminate in me actually getting to each state in a reasonable time frame, but rather, that I had it in my mind to set out on this journey with absolutely no qualms with finding myself stranded in an unfamiliar place, nor even with the prospect of dying.
This might sound unsettling. This though, perhaps, is the reason that I was confident enough to speak with the sorts of people I did. It's not that I purposefully sought out dangerous situations, of which I think is a relative term regardless, but rather, I set out to attain my goals in a manner that, as best as I could, in no way made a mock of love. This allowed fear no eminence, nor did it tolerate the notion that any particular situation could not have been endured or even exalted regardless of its apparent or less than apparent dubious circumstances. Not to foolhardily abuse what some might call a questionable belief in a higher power, but rather prudently utilize a sure knowledge of a reality that most people, I'd say on a fundamental level, want nothing more than to love and be loved in the most sincere of ways. Firm in this knowledge I could draw my faith from a personal source, God, which I believe gave me strength to continue forward and to continue writing, and ultimately allow what ever happened to happen. It was at this intersection that I was strengthened in belief that I would still be ok should I encounter the rarest of all human conditions, pure evil.
I suppose the feel of this trip is one of faith. Should there have previously been in me any doubts concerning the power of which is endowed upon those genuinely faithful, or any misgivings of its nature whatsoever, they have dissipated into the void. From here is where I recognize on a very fine level a parallel that I wonder how literal it can be taken. Is there really more done from less work, is my increase gained through a violation of the laws of thermodynamics, or is there some creature of matter, fine or coarse, ethereal or corporeal somewhere out there in that void, in that heaven, in that darkness, in that heaven--that is making up the difference?
My thoughts fly apart at this point. But I will continue to work, and I will continue to learn in the spirit of faith. I feel as though it cannot be done any other way. I won't post in this blog again. This project is finished. I look forward to what may come. Thank you, everyone.