As I thought I might, I am finding it difficult to keep to this routine. I had hoped that I'd be able to do this without the aid of medication of any sort. I don't think this will be possible, though, without some help. At least at first. I have had success in the past with a couple over the counter sleep aids, but some have had adverse effects.
Anyway, with an understanding that I have focused too heavily on matters of religion in the past, I want to talk about it again now. This whole matter of churches, temples, religions, prophets and false prophets, doctrines and sacred scriptures, and all the immense energy, strange, unique and the simple alike surrounding the gods and the God of it all is all quite confusing. I think, however, that the nature of the universe is, in a word, elegant. That is, it is grandly simple. It is the clash of intelligent creatures, which, as matter transforms from one state to another, turns the elegant into the ugly.
I wish I could explain in depth the immensity of the reality that we wade in, seeing only the surface. We all know that the human mind is a complex organ. Some of us even have understood the brain to be the most complex structure in the universe. It is a wondrous piece of machinery, no doubt. But whether it was developed by nature or by God I'd say quite possibly in the course of any discussion would end with nearly all moot points, since many hold nature to be God and vice versa.
There is a more fundamental question to be addressed. That of awareness, consciousness. There are many who are searching out how life became. How did inanimate matter become animate? That is the question if you hold to certain trains of thought. But any train could go anywhere, to true or false conclusions. That said, there is one that goes in the right direction. Which one is it? And how would we know it?
In my life I hear a lot of people say that they "know." This is quite difficult for me as I admit that there is excruciatingly little that I can say in confidence that "I know." But, it is this understanding about myself that I feel gives me a truer sense of what reality is. Of course their is faith. A point that I am getting to. But first let me address a few of my fundamentals.
Firstly, I cannot accept in my heart and soul, in my body and mind, based on my own experiences that life does not continue on after physical death. Secondly, based on this premise, I cannot believe that there is, in the annals of the universe, no way to determine truth from falsehood.
Thirdly, it must be that it is in our actions, often times by no consciously planned means to gain knowledge, that we actually do line by line, precept upon precept begin to know the truth from the lies.
There are many who profess to believe in their religion but do not act in accordance with it. Their are many who do believe in their religion and act accordingly. It is in our actions that truth will emerge. It is in our actions that we will begin to see whether or not we are aligning ourselves with what is true. If we are to draw and reflect upon the popular analogy that light represents goodness and dark represents evil, we can then extend it further by saying that light is produced by action, chemical processes that take place in the universe, while darkness is the consequence of the lack of any action whatsoever. But people can act in accordance with things that aren't true. Yes they can. But those who act in accordance with what is true will, by virtue of the nature of light contrasted with darkness, attract those in darkness to their own light or actions, consequently obliterating the false paradigms and untrue premises. The only problem I see is that these things take people their entire lives to understand and even some never quite get it in life. And it is here, in this world, where the immensities of the universe aligned with an eternally minded screenwriter play out their acts in our perpetually sold out theaters. That is to say, our minds, with different actors playing different roles at different times in our lives.
We are absolutely astonishing beings, with powers extending beyond our current comprehension. We are beautiful. That is, should we continue on after death. Otherwise everything I say has absolutely no greater meaning or purpose.
Can you look at even your own hand with light reflecting off of it into your eyes, being aware that you are a sentient creature, self reflecting upon this simple matter, and not be utterly blown away at the immensity of the nature of your very own life? I am utterly incapable of illustrating how beyond measure this life is.
There are no words.
Goodnight.