Journal Entry 2
Not even wind blows. But a chill remains. My breath is ever so present. It reminds me that I am still alive. Everything is still. This place is frozen in time. I’ve been staring at the sun. No matter how long I do, it never moves. It just stays there in-between two shear peaks in the distance behind heavy atmosphere. It’s a dim, white circle barely distinguishable from the grey clouds. It’s unreal.
As for how I’m staying alive, I’ve mentioned those leaves. They are the only thing so far that I’ve found to be edible. Actually, they are nearly the only things whatsoever. There are a lot of them. They seem to blanket the planet’s surface. As for water, they too are my only source. They are like sponges. I’ve found no springs or rivers, otherwise. Aside from simply eating them I’ve been squeezing the water out and collecting it in a makeshift bowl I’ve taken from the wreckage of Heaven. I’ve been taking shelter in the old hydroponics bay. For the most part it’s the only section of Heaven that wasn’t obliterated in the descent. I’m worried about the reactors though. I haven’t been able to locate them. Wreckage is strewn out for what must be miles. I’ve no symptoms of radiation poisoning yet. That is good, I guess. It’s just isolation. I don’t even know how long I’ve been here. It can’t be more than an Earth week, but I’m really at loss for time reconciliation. You wouldn’t think about it unless you suddenly found yourself in a place where nothing moves other than your own internal mechanisms, but I’m beginning to think about time in a way I’ve never before.
I’ve been exploring some. And all I can say is, thank God I landed on the bright side of this rock, or giant sponge. The leaves are so thick, the world is almost porous, yet I think it must get stranger on the dark side. There is a sinking feeling as you stare into that dogged terminator, that unmoving line where darkness engulfs you. It’s more defined than I think it should be. A few steps in and you nearly immediately lose focus on anything whatsoever. It makes the pupils expand wildly grasping for any rays of light as if you were drowning in darkness. I’ve been cautious not to trek too far into that abyss. Once the sun is out of view there begins to be no points of reference at all. It’s just black. No stars, no anything, and if there should be some beast in that void that my mind wildly conjures up, surely, if I didn’t know it already, I’d know the death that awaits the hell-bound.
This planet used to be totally enclosed in the darkness, free floating in the abyss of space. I can only speculate on how the introduction of the sun has changed its constituents, its ecosystem and environment. Maybe this is the reason I’ve seen no animal life. The plants, surely, having utilized the energy of Hecate’s churning core never needing to maneuver must be experiencing something quite strange with the introduction of a light source, while the insects or animals used to the abyss must’ve scurried into the lightlessness. Perhaps evolution is already taking place. I can only imagine what’s going on over there.
I am going to sleep now. Sometimes it’s hard to keep my eyes open even though I’ve no idea of time or reference to it. I wish I could look forward to the rising sun though. Even in Heaven there was Gabriel [Gabriel was the AI of the Shuttle Heaven 1, in which Dalton is referring to its automated cyclical illumination phases.] But this place. The perpetual doom barely gives even metaphor an opportunity to touch a calloused heart. I have no dreams. It is just more blackness when I close my eyes. There is nothing there. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. There is no sunrise at the break of day. There is no break. It just doesn't happen. Even still, this planet burns in its core with unseen geothermal energy, like it my chest burns with a hope I cannot pretend is no thing—I wish I could see you, Sarah, my love. Goodnight.
Below is a rendering of Heaven 1 done by Alex Smith.
Thanks to Alex Smith we have a visual of what Commander Dalton's Heaven 1 Shuttle looks like!